Time to Change...

Sigh, maybe I should really, really, really give up the idea of asking him out.  God, why am I such a chicken?  Maybe because I don't want to face rejection if he says no to me.  I really need to move on with my life because I don't want to stay stuck like this forever.  Sigh, it's more complicated than I thought it would be because I also don't want him to know about my problems that I'm going through right now.  Oh god, maybe (or probably) my crush and I weren't meant to be, we were nothing but just a dream?  When the day does come when I finally do get over him, I still need to face my problems and tell this future new guy that I have these problems.  I know, everybody is human and that we all have problems and are not perfect but I don't want to face rejection or more rejections from anyone that I go out with.  I always fear the worse that once people know the truth about me and my problems that they don't want to be around me anymore.  Sigh, I need to be confident about myself.  A lot of people say that despite the problems that I'm dealing with I'm still a good person.  I can offer the world a lot, if only I focus on my positive traits instead of the negative things about myself.  I need to believe this and keep focusing on the positive traits about me.  I need to learn to love and accept myself for the way I am.  If I don't accept myself for the way I am, then how do I expect the world to accept me?  I'm tired of always feeling that I need to hide somethings about myself.  There's are times whenever I have to hide somethings about myself, I feel like I'm living a lie.  I know I don't have to tell the whole world about my problem but at least don't feel ashamed about myself and live my life already.  I already wasted a large portion of my life because of my problems and always feeling that I need to hide something about my life.  Sigh, I just want to be happy already and live my life already.