I realized that I wasted so much time focusing on stuff that MIGHT
not even that important after all. Don’t
get me wrong, school is important and everything but considering my situation
it may not be. God, I wish I knew what
I’m suppose to do in this lifetime.
Seriously, though lately I’ve been wondering what the Universe is trying
to tell me about my life. I mean, if it
wasn’t for my illness(es) that I’ve been dianoised with since high school, who
knows where I could be right now. I
probably would’ve gone to school somewhere in the East coast, study abroad,
find love, etc. Basically, my dreams of
starting a new life has been shattered time and time again due to my
circumstances. Sometimes I wonder
whatever I’m meant to do in this lifetime, does it even require school? I dunno, I’m sooo lost in life right
now. Or maybe it does require school but
I’m at the wrong type of school? That
could be a big possibility since I’ve been slowly progressing through ccsf due
to lack of interest, motivation, energy, health issues, and loss of passion in
life. Not to mention, increased stress,
anxiety, and worrying whenever school is involved. My overall community college experience at
ccsf and skyline has been terrible. Not
only am I feeling lost in life at community college but I also question myself
do I even belong here? So far, that
people that I’ve met at school haven’t been so great, there seems to be no
connection whenever I meet new people at school for some reason? Sigh, maybe I’m meant to move on from
community college and go to a different school?
The problem is what kind of school is it? Sigh, I really need to think about this. I just don’t want to be disappointed in the
end if I decide to go to different type of school and experience the same thing
all over again.
As for now, I’m going to work on my top priorities on my
list. Definitely need to work on my
health issues, exercise and diet, and finding love(I think), and having more
fun in life. I know I want to find love
but I dunno, it’s such a tough thing to do.
A lot people keep telling me that let love come to you naturally, I
can’t force it to happen if it’s not meant to be.
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