Special Assignment Assigned by Karen

So, I was talking to Karen about my usual problems about my major and how I’m so close to finishing up my general education units and transferring to state sometime next year.  I was telling Karen that even though I am very close to transferring to state that I’m having doubts whether or not I should major speech therapy when I get to state.  I told her that I really don’t know if I will like the major until I finally take the actual classes at state.  I really feel doubtful whether I can survive at state for a bachelor’s and master’s degree in speech therapy.

Fortunately, Karen came up with the idea for me to do this special assignment.  Karen wanted me to list three possible “hobbies” that I think I’m interested in and do a pros/cons list and a rating system for the three possible “hobbies”.  She said that once I make a final decision of which “hobby” I want to pursue, I have to stick to it for at least 6 months to a year and see if I’m passionate about that “hobby”.  I have to practice doing that hobby every day for a certain amount of hours.  She knows me so well, she already told me to don’t think of the what if’s, and the future, and the job market with the hobby I chose to practice for 6 months.  She also told me that it’s not the end the world if I don’t like that hobby after the 6 months and just move on to the next hobby in the list.  She said that I will never know whether I’m passionate about that hobby until I actually try it.  For all I know I might just hate it after practicing for 6 months.  Karen also said to stop talking about it, thinking about it, and questioning about it and just do it.  I told Karen my final decision was writing a book for at least 6 months to a year, after making the list of course.  It was a tough call between writing and cooking though.

Technically, I haven’t really officially started writing my book though. I don’t know if it’s because I’m feeling uncreative right now or that I’m doubting myself whether or not I can do this.  Today, I was still thinking about the hobbies list and whether I should go into cooking instead.  Omg, I really think too much about my future and it’s no wonder I’m getting white hairs.  I guess it’s because I have a big fear of the unknown future.  I really need to relax and stop thinking about something that is beyond my control.  It was very tempting to go into cooking instead of writing because I was already imagining what life would be like if I could go study overseas for culinary school.  Sigh…but that is all a dream….I should just focus on one hobby at a time and concentrate on my long term goal.  I know I want to be a writer because I’ve been wanting to do this for a long time now but never got around to it.  Maybe I should look at this crucial time period as…serendipity…who knows what will happen during this time period.  All I know is that I can’t waste anymore time daydreaming and that I need to take more action in actually completing my goals.  Just like my long term goal for weight loss for example.  Which reminds me that I really need to complete my long term goal of reaching my ideal weight because it’s been years since I’ve been at my ideal weight.  Ok, now I need to manage my time better by making time for daily exercise and daily writing and don’t procrastinate.